Bravo, The Onion

Like all their best pieces, the headline is the funniest part:

Mitt Romney Haunted By Past Of Trying To Help Uninsured Sick People

BELMONT, MA—Though Mitt Romney is considered to be a frontrunner for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, the national spotlight has forced him to repeatedly confront a major skeleton in his political closet: that as governor of Massachusetts he once tried to help poor, uninsured sick people.

Hahaha.  Another decent line about half way through the piece:

"The major strike against Mitt Romney is that he not only tried to help people get medical care, he actually did help people get medical care," conservative columnist Jonah Goldberg said. "No other Republican in the field has that type of baggage. And in the end, in order to defeat President Obama, the GOP needs someone who has a track record of never wanting to help sick people."

Amazingly, it was actually better for the GOP when they couldn't bring themselves to nominate Romney out of religious bigotry, making a Governor run away from something he did that actually did help some people get health care tells you all you should need to understand about their institutional disregard for humanity.